Four Things MeMe

I don’t know if I am doing this right but Sharon tagged me and I think that means I have to write a list of all these four things that she wrote.

Four jobs I’ve had

 Milkman but it plays havoc with your personal life
 Bus driver
 Fairground worker. I ran away from home when I was 17 and joined the fairground but it only lasted one summer before I went back with a very long tail between my legs.
 Helpdesk manager. This is the job I do now.

Four places I’ve lived

 Warrington where I was born
 Middlewich where I moved when I met my ex wife. Still here so not very adventurous on the moving front.

Four favourite foods

 Steak and chips
 Sunday roast
 Fish and chips with mushy peas
 Anything off the barbecue

Four movies I could watch over and over

I don’t really watch films more than once so these are my favourites not those I would watch over and over

 Any James Bond film
 Any Superman film
 Any Monty Python film
 Pirates of the caribean

Four TV shows I enjoy:

 Doctor Who
 Have I got news for you
 I’m a celebrity get me out of here
 The royale family

Four places I’ve visited

 Copenhagen, Denmark
 New York, USA
 Barcelona, Spain
 Jamaica

Four places I’d like to visit

 India
 Iceland
 Russia
 Croatia

Four websites I go to daily

Other than google and the company intranet I don’t use any websites daily.

Four people I tag to do this list

I don’t know four other bloggers that havn’t either already done it or have been tagged. Just do it if you want to.

Need a diet?

If theres one thing that makes me laugh its hearing the daft stuff that others have got up to in the past. I’ve always been a bit of a joker and when people ask stupid questions they tend to get stupid answers.

About two years ago I was standing in the supermarket check out queue with a big bag of Pedigree dog food for my dog Rolo. A woman standing behind me asked “Do you have a dog?” Well to me it seems pretty obvious that I’ve got a dog when I’m buying a bumper bag of dog food but silly question/silly answer mode kicked in and I said “No, I’m starting the Pedigree diet at the weekend”. I explained that you just keep some nuggets of dog food in your pockets (or your handbag, if your a lady) and whenver you feel peckish you simply pop a couple. Because dog food contains all the nutriants you need its a good way of losing weight quickly. The woman was fasinated and oblivius to the bloke behind her who was almost pissing himself trying not to laugh. Men know you see. We dont fall for these things as easily. I wouldnt be surprised whether the lady in the queue one day tried the Pedigree diet herself and probably told all her friends about it. Just wait, a book will pop up on the shelfs soon!

Before I finish I want to tell you that I’m not a huge blubbery whale or anything like that but I am a bit cuddly so could get away with my story. If your look more like the pole than the dancer then I wouldnt suggest trying it.

Blogs

I’ve decided its time to become a proper blogger so I’ve been visiting other blogs and have even added some to my blogroll (until yesterday, I didnt even know what this was… I thought maybe some kind of sandwich).

One of the blogs you will find on my blogroll belongs to a lady who can hold 17 pencils under each breast. Can you imagine that? All I can say is I would love to see it! Ok so Im being a dirty old man but you have to admit it sounds intriguing.

Another one belongs to a lady who makes me laugh because she’s just plain weird and wacky. Hold on a second, what is plain about being weird and wacky? Take a look at her blog and find out yourself.

The third is another lady (is there a pattern here?). She has just split from her partner so who knows whether I might be in with a chance. Just kidding of course. She’s intelligent and funny and worth reading and she even lives near me and goes to the LImelight club.

I’ll add more later when the boss aint about.

Mince Pies

I think a few vital screws have rusted here. I made mince pies tonight! Yeah, go on, take the piss if you like but it’s true. Carrie fancied giving it a go so we went out and bought the ingredients (after finding a suitable recipe on the web) and now we have two dozen mince pies in the cupboard, minus the ones we’ve already eaten.

Carrie love, I bet you never thought you’d see the day your old man made pastry!!

The Christmas tree is up as well so I’m ahead of myself this year. I usually chuck it up on Christmas eve!

Not that there will be a lot going on over Christmas. I’m off to my parents on the big day itself then the girls are coming over in the evening. Boxing day I’ll be playing a game of footie with some mates. It’s a tradition we’ve had since we were at school and that’s a long time ago. Once upon a time I used to come back to a lovely warm lunch made either by mum or my ex but nowadays it’s a pizza warmed up out of the freezer. Anythings better than a toe up the jacksy.

Limelight Club

It’s a couple of years since last time I went to the Limelight Club in Crewe but a mate persuaded me to go along for a few beers last night. It hasn’t changed. It’s still a dive filled with faded rockers and wannabes but still there’s something about it that make you want to investigate it further. It’s not the kind of place I’d visit as a regular thing but after looking at the band list, I’ll probably be making my way to Crewe now and then to see the likes of Who’s Who, Achtung Baby and T Rextacy.

As far as I know, a new owners got the place now. I hope he puts some money in the place and tarts it up a bit because the state of the carpets is appaling and that from a bloke who sometimes forgets where he put the vaccum cleaner!

Amsterdam

Me and a mate have just got back from three days in Amsterdam. I’ve not been before but its one of those places where you always kind of feel you should have been. Well that’s how I have felt about it anyway.

Did I enjoy it! You bet! It’s a city that has everything. Boobs, bridges, beer and spacecakes! Yes I went and tried the latter. Never done it before so it pretty much blew my head off but it was all in the name of good fun. No harm came to anybody and back home life goes on as normal.

If your wondering whether I went along to the famous red light district the answer is —– mind your own bloody business! Ok, I’ll tell you. Yes we did but no we didn’t buy anything on offer even thought there was a LOT on offer. Christ, why would anybody want to pay for sex? I’m lucky if I get it once a bloody year (none so far this year) but its not that big a deal.

Girls

I had my daughters stay this weekend. They come to me every other weekend but this weekend wasn’t part of the usual visitation, we were all going to a party at my brothers house and the girls wanted to come. They sure did their old man proud. Carrie’s a stunner like no other and Lucy can hold anybodies attention with her conversation skills. What I want to know is how the hell I came to produce them?